Throughout my childhood Christmas was a time of joy, wonder and grandiose excitement. I still remember putting out a carrot for Rudolph, and a glass of milk and a cookie for Santa Claus with my letter of wishes and thanks by the fireplace. I would lie sleeplessly in bed awaiting his visit and for the festivities to begin. Then every Christmas morning, by way of magic, presents would appear, the cookie would be eaten, the milk enjoyed, the carrot nibbled and my letter well-read and carried off with Santa.
Or this is what I believed, until one fateful Christmas Eve I snuck downstairs at the sound of a large crash and saw my mother drunk falling into the Christmas tree whilst placing gifts around its trunk. My fantasies of Christmas and the magic with which it was surrounded shattered as that very year my parents confirmed verbally my worst fears – Santa Claus wasn’t real. What succeeded was 20 years of predictable family Christmas’: excessive drinking, gift exchanges which included my disappointment at another pair of ill-fitting socks from my grandmother, awful jokes and the Queen’s speech followed by bickering over charades.
This survived until I participated in my first Coming Together group at the Humaniversity where I discovered that Christmas could be more. I found something new and warm where I could celebrate with friends.
During my first Coming Together I received a poem and handmade bracelet from a now beloved friend, which I cherish to this day. I have never received a gift so unique and personal. And I learnt that Christmas isn’t just about the material, there is something greater to be savoured – to appreciate ourselves for the year just gone and to celebrate and envision the year we wish to come. My once joyful Christmas’ have been restored by hanging out with new and old friends, preparing and eating delicious food (including olliebollen at New Years!), dancing to great music, sharing, laughing and meditating in-between.
The group is filled with opportunities to not only celebrate but to also undertake emotional work, using emotional release to let go of what we have accumulated throughout the year and, with the guidance of the leaders, to create a fresh vision for ourselves. It is so relaxing to be able to experience the Christmas and New Year that I want, and to do it together. This is why I love Christmas at the Humaniversity.
With love,
Amrit
